A YGO Christmas Carol
by RiYuYami
Summary: Adding to the already long list of YGO Christmas Carols, this is RiYuYami's version of it with a few extra items to make it even more silly then this story already is. And it has an specail person added for fun. Merry Christmas


This is that time of year where children make their very long list for St. Nick, when parents panic over the decorations, getting food ready, a tree, untangling those damn lights and finally just spending time with the family and celebrating the birth of our savior.

Yep, it Christmas time and RiYuYami LOVES this holiday because of the feeling I get when I see the lights, decorations, the shiny happy people, the stories, the songs, and just when I get to spend time with the ones I love. That and Christmas snow. I love snow but fuck it this year because I live in a freakin' hot state and not back in my wonderful home in Germany. Not so super special awesome sigh.

So anyway, I'm going to make a YGO version of The Christmas Story. A fantastic story written by Charles Dickens over a 160 years ago.

CAST:

Narrator: ME!

Scrooge: Kaiba (who didn't see that one coming) (BTW Kaiba is 30 years old in here)

Bob: Jou

Bob's wife: Yami (totally worth it)

Scrooge's nephew Fred: Mokuba

Tiny Tim: Yugi (This is so bitter sweet)

Marley: Isono

Fuzzywik: Mahado

Bell (this was Scrooge's ex): Atemu (I'm not going to say a thing)

Ghost of Christmas Past: Ryo

Ghost of Christmas Present: Marik

Ghost of Christmas yet to come: (Oh, this is a surprise and I think you will all be surprised if you know who this person is. This person is from another anime.)

And some random other people will be added… I think.

--

Isono was dead to begin with.

Yes, this is how the story begins, got a problem!?

Anyway, his partner, Kaiba, took over their combined business and the money made him even more of an ass by taxing every one, even the poor, and this was just over a three year thing.

So as Kaiba sat in his office counting his cash, his lonely worker Jounouchi sat as his desk writing with a lonely feather pen, shivering and trying to stay warm because Kaiba was to cheap to even buy more coal for the office because Kaiba actually liked the cold. Jou looked over at his boss' office and saw that he was too distracted.

He got down from his desk and quietly tried to place a piece of coal into the very small fire into the stove. But was rudely interrupted by one very angry voice.

"JOUNOUCHI! What the hell are you doing near the stove?!"

Jou turned to see blue eyes glaring holes into his green ones. (I like Jou with green eyes) Jou was trying to come up with an excuse but failed. "I was… umm… trying to pee?"

"With coal? That is the dumbest excuse ever and I hear them everyday."

"Well, I did have to go but you pretty much fixed that for me sir." Kaiba gave him a look.

"Gross. Anyway, I need to you to work more me in tomorrow."

Jou's jaw dropped. "But sir! It is Christmas tomorrow and I was going to spend it with my family! Please sir! If you let me stay with my family, I'll work an extra two hours with out pay for you on Monday!" He begged as he got on his knees with his fingerless-gloved hands in prayer.

Kaiba rolled his eyes." Fine, you don't work at all until one tomorrow. But! You may, and I say may as it might not happen, go home early, just because I don't really care."

A huge smile appeared on Jou's face as he ran back to his seat, only to get hit with a large sack. "And so you go home early tomorrow, you have to do an extra load of laundry. Remind me, wasn't you washing my clothing part of a deal for a raise for a dollar."

"A dollar and a hay-penny sir."

"Right." With that, Kaiba headed back to his money. But was stopped when the door opened and in stepped Mokuba. "Merry Christmas Uncle Kaiba and Jou!"

Jou turned and smiled at him. "And a Merry Christmas to you Mokuba!" Kaiba glared at them both and Jou went straight back to work. Mokuba bounced over to his uncle and handed him a wreath. "Here you go!"

Kaiba looked at him. "Why are you here Mokuba and why did you bring me this thing?"

"Because it's the season of giving and I wanted to see my uncle, I also wanted to invite you to my house for dinner tomorrow."

"And why pre tell?"

Mokuba rolled his eyes. "Because, dear uncle Kaiba, its Christmas! And I want you to meet my fiancée!" A very quick flash of pain was in Kaiba's ice-blue eyes but that went away with a glair.

"I'm sorry Mokuba, but I have work. And besides, I really don't like Christmas at all. Tell your girlfriend that I say congratulations and all that other shit." He pushed Mokuba away and threw the wreath at Jou which ended up being a dead ringer around his neck. Jou scribbled something down and held up a ten on his paper and Kaiba took a quick bow before turning to his office, but was stopped by a knock on his door.

He opened it to find two men (one with white hair and the other with insane platinum blond hair) outside the door with a large caldron with a few bits of cash in it.

"Hello, I am Bakura, and my friend here, Malik, want to know if you would donate some cash for the children and poor for the holidays." Bakura grumbled.

"I can tell that you don't want to do this, but why are you doing it anyway?"

Bakura and Malik looked at him. "Community service."

"So anyway, will you donate something?" Malik asked. Kaiba dug in his pocket and dropped something. They looked in and saw that he gave them an I.O.U. Malik asked "You carry around I.O.U.'s in your pocket?" His answer was a door slam.

--

Well, it was six and Kaiba looked over at the clock in the work room and then at his pocket one. "Hmm, six minutes fast." Jou, who was currently getting ready to leave turned right back to go to work but was stopped when Kaiba continued to talk.

"Go home Jou. I'm tired of looking at you today anyway." Jou was already out the door and Kaiba just shrugged and went back to his money, and he started to hug it while singing the money song.

As Jou walked down the street he sang _The Twelve Days of Christmas_ to himself, and when he finished he was home and was greeted by his man-wife Yami. "So, from the sack being bigger then normal, you got the raw end of the deal with Kaiba didn't you?"

"Yeah, but he was nice enough to let me off in the morning. Now where is Yugi? I want to take him to mass."

--

Kaiba walked up to his front door of the house he and Isono use to share, until he died and Kaiba gained it all to himself. That lucky bastard.

Kaiba was about to walk up the stairs to the front door, but stopped when he heard someone say his name. He turned around, trying to see who was there. But all he found was a cold dark street covered in new snow. He kicked the door opened and walked into his home.

After getting cleaned up and had dinner and all the other night activities were finished, Kaiba sat down in his chair and began to read a book. "You know, this Scrooge had some pretty good ideas for his workers…" Kaiba mumbled to himself. But then, his candle went out and the only light was coming from the window.

And then, before his eyes, a ghostly form of his old partner appeared before him. Isono was covered in chains and boxes that hold money. He got right up into Kaiba's face and the younger screamed. "HOLY CRAP!"

Isono spoke. "Yes, it is I, Isono! And I have come to haunt you and tell you of what will come for you!"

"Actually, what I'm more scared of the fact that the after life did nothing to help your face."

Kaiba ended up getting knocked out of his chair.

"It was totally worth it Isono. So what do you want?" Kaiba asked as he got back into his chair. Isono threw his chains at Kaiba.

"THIS! Remember all the bad stuff I did in life? Like stealing from the widows and swindling the orphans?"

"Yes, and all in one day. Man, you had such class."

Isono smirked but then frowned. "NO! What I did was wrong! And now I will carry my heavy chains of greed through eternity!" He stopped for a moment. "Maybe even longer. But the same thing will happen to you if you do not change Seto! And the way you've been, your chains will be heavier then mine are!"

Kaiba thought for a second. He didn't want to spend his after life like the loser Isono. "Well, what do I have to do to change my ways?" He asked the spirit.

"You will be visited by three spirits of Christmas past, present, and future. Listen to them and do everything they say or you will be more screwed then a cucumber and a twenty dollar whore." Isono turned to leave. "Farewell." He waved as he went though the door. Kaiba blinked.

"WAIT! Isono watch out for the first…" He heard the spirit crash down the staircase. "… step."

--

Kaiba laid in his bed, thinking over what his old partner had said, but he frowned at the idea and just went to sleep. At a minute to one, a bright light filled the room, though Kaiba was not bothered by it because of his bed curtains. The light faded and an albino fell to the floor with a loud thud, this woke the CEO up. He pulled back the curtains and saw the other on the floor.

"Nice. Are you the ghost of Christmas Past?" Kaiba looked at the boy with a voice that didn't sound surprised. The boy stood up and Kaiba saw a name tag on him which told his job and his name; Ryo.

"And you must be the stuck up bastard named Seto Kaiba, am I right?"

"Yes I am. And you are going to do what to me?"

Ryo smiled. "I'm taking you to your past!"

Kaiba turned his head. "Well who didn't see THAT one coming?" He asked no one sarcastically.

"Can we get this over with? I have another guy to meet in England named Scrooge and I need to be to his house soon." Ryo pointed to his pocket watch and tapped his foot. Kaiba rolled his eyes and walked over to him. Ryo made Kaiba grab his waist. "Okay, this is going to be a bit bumpy so don't let go or what ever." He opened the window and they flew out into the snow night. Kaiba was so glad that he was wearing pants with his night shirt or else people would see his boxers.

"You see that bright light?" Ryo asked while pointing to a bright light. Kaiba just simply nodded. "That's the past."

"You don't think I don't know that!?" Kaiba yelled at the other who just ignored him and flew into the portal and came out the other side with a loud pop. They were flying over the city on a cold Christmas night but they soon landed about twenty feet from a busy looking tea shop. Kaiba smiled.

"Hey this was Mahado's annual Christmas party! I got so wasted when I was a teen while working at that place during his parties drinking was so cool then, now it's kinda boring." Ryo just blinked as he looked at the weird grin on Kaiba's face.

"Just shut up and look in through the window."

The party was in full swing, music was being played, people were dancing, there was a huge buffet where some people were standing near, and Mahado was swinging from the chandelier and ended up falling off into the crowed yelling "I'm okay!" But the two invisible men outside the window looked to a lonely corner where a young male was sitting; he looked to be around fifteen. Kaiba almost screamed. "HOLY SHIT! I was so hot back then!" He then turned his head and actually did scream and he ducked.

"What? Can someone actually see you?! What happened!?" Ryo asked the cowering CEO. Kaiba leaned up slowly, the top of his face (above the mouth) was seen as he pointed to a beautiful young man with large red eyes and tan skin, he had the most wild hair style you would ever see and he was also… wearing… a dress. "That's Atemu, my first and only love."

Ryo blink. "That's Atemu?! The guy you loved for five years and then left and you turned as cold a will digger's ass!?"

"Don't rub it in smart ass."

They turned back to the scene. Atemu walked over to Kaiba and smiled at him. "Hi Seto." He smiled at the other. Kaiba looked up and had a huge smile on his face, along with a blush. "Atemu! You look lovely tonight, even more then you normally do, it must be the lights that give you this beautiful glow I'm seeing around you, or it might be your heavenly glow my sweet angel from God dropped to Earth." He bent down and kissed Atemu's hand, making the smaller blush madly.

Ryo stared wide eyed and his mouth was agape as he looked at Kaiba who was blushing. "Man, I can not believe you said all that romantic stuff! If I wasn't dating the Ghost of Christmas Present, I would so make you my boyfriend!" Kaiba just smacked his face into his hands and groaned.

But as Kaiba looked up the scene had change so that they were now inside his office when it was still new, about ten years ago and five years from the first flash back. Atemu was standing near the desk that Kaiba was angrily working at. "Umm, Seto?" Atemu asked softly.

Kaiba looked up at him. "What now Atemu?"

"Umm, remember that you and I are still engaged right?" He pointed to the lovely ring on his finger. Kaiba merely glanced at it and turned away.

"Yes, and is there something about it that you need to ask?"

"I was wondering when we are going to actually have the wedding. You proposed to me five years ago at Mahado's Christmas party and you have not done a thing for it since. All you've been doing is counting up the money you have been taking from the poor."

"So what? The poor will just waste it anyway. And there is nothing I can do about the wedding because its time and money consuming and there can not be any gay marriages in this city." Kaiba spoke as he wrote down something in his counting book. Atemu was heart broken and extremely pissed. He slammed his hands on top of Kaiba's desk and pushed everything off in one swift move of his arms. He then kicked the desk over and stormed out yelling to the frighten miser.

"I hope you die a lonely and heart broken man Seto Kaiba! And if you ever want me back in your life, you better have changed you fucking greedy ways! Until then, good bye forever Kaiba!" And he slammed the door. Kaiba sat there and looked like he wanted to cry, this was the same with the future Kaiba.

"Ryo take me home, I can't bear to see me so weak…"

"Remember Kaiba, you brought up these memories yourself."

--

Kaiba woke from a start and looked around, he was still in bed and he sighed. "Thank God…" But he heard something outside the room that sounded like laughing. He opened the curtains and saw a whole bunch of food and treats. And in the middle of the floor was a blond Egyptian who was dancing around to some Christmas music. He stopped and turned of the record player and walked up to Kaiba and got right into his face.

"HELLO KAIBA!" Kaiba ended up falling off the other side of the bed.

"And you are?"

The blond smiled as he pointed to his name tag. "It reads: Ghost of Christmas Present. My name is Marik! And I'm very please to meet you Kaiba!"

Kaiba looked at him. "Are you Ryo's boyfriend?"

"Yes."

"Thought so. Okay, do your magic or whatever." Kaiba stood up but was fascinated by all the food. "What is all these?"

"The food of generosity, which you have yet to receive."

Kaiba pouted. "Generosity!? No one's ever shown me that!"

"You've never given them a reason to! Now I'm going to show you the Christmas that will be happing today!" Marik placed a hand on Kaiba's shoulder and snapped his fingers, in a flash they were in day time and the whole city was bustling with smiling faces and people singing, some holding packages, some holding food. Others were running after their children to get them back inside.

Kaiba and Marik, being invisible, walked down the streets until might came and they reached a small home near a bridge that was about six blocks from his office.

"Hey Marik, why'd ya bring me here? This place is a crap shack." Marik slapped him on the head, which he then pushed into the window of the house. Kaiba looked around to see a small kitchen/ dining room/ living room. There was a young boy and two girls running around a setting the table, the boy was turning a small goose above the fire while a pot next to it was boiling. A man walked over to the pot and lifted the lid, apparently, he was doing laundry.

But Kaiba looked at the man, he looked a lot like Atemu, only a little shorter, lighter tan skin, and his hair was a little neater. "Stupid Kaiba, making US do his laundry. Next time I see him, I pop him a new one with my spoon!" The man growled.

"You mean old metal mother?" The boy asked.

"Yep! Good boy!" He smirked. Kaiba blinked.

"Hey Marik, why did that little blond boy just call his father 'mother' and why are they doing my laundry?" Kaiba asked. Marik smiled at him.

"Well, Yami can 'make babies' don't ask me how he can, he just can and there is your reason for the clothes." He pointed as he spoke his last part to the bridge and Kaiba heard some soft singing. He saw Jou with a little boy who looked like a smaller version of Yami on his shoulders. The boy had a crutch in his hand and he was singing 'Jingle Bells' with Jou. After they had a good laugh at the end of the song the small boy hugged the older man's head.

"Thanks for taking me to the church, I love you dad."

"I love ya too Tiny Yugi." Jou smiled. So this Tiny Yugi was his son? Hmm, Kaiba knew Jou was a family man, but he was married to a MAN and they somehow had four kids!? The world had a dark sense of humor. Jou and Yugi went into the house and were greeted by their other family members.

Yami walked over and kissed Jou. "How was church?"

Jou smiled brightly at him. "Fantastic! And Yugi was singing like the angels themselves." He then smiled softly at his youngest son who was talking to his other siblings but was coughing. Soon the family sat down for dinner and started to give their thanks. When it came to Yugi's turn, Kaiba was surprised.

"I thank the Lord, my family, and Mr. Kaiba for everything." He smiled and his 'mother' frowned.

"Yeah, thank ya Kaiba for being an ass! I'm still going to pop him a good one with my spoon! Making me do his laundry and crap…" He hmphed. Jou laughed and kissed Yami on the cheek.

"I'm sure you will Yami. Now let us eat!"

Kaiba watched them he then turned to the silent spirit next to him, and to get his attention, he stepped on his foot. "OWW!" Cried Marik. "What the heck did ya do that for?!"

"I have to ask you a question." But he noticed that Marik was starting to vanish. "Hey! Where are you going?!" Marik just smiled.

"Sorry, but my time with you is ending."

"Please Marik! Tell me what will happen to Tiny Yugi!" Kaiba begged. He was worried because the child looked very ill.

"All I can tell you is that if it continues to be like this for the family, then by next Christmas, there will be an empty chair with a lonely crutch with no owner." Kaiba turned to the window and rested his head against it, he didn't even notice the other had left.

"Then Yugi will…" The lights in the house went off! The area around Kaiba turned into fog and he backed up, only to bump into something, or someone. "Sorry." He apologized when he felt that this was a person because of the fabric on it. He noticed a pair of black leather boots with a blood red jacket some what covering them. He looked up and once again, saw a name tag. He stood up and found that he was taller then this one. Actually he was taller then the others, but this one only went a little over his waist.

"Man, you are short for the Ghost of Christmas Future." Kaiba smirked and the hooded figure with a scythe in his human looking left hand growled.

"Who are calling so short that they could ride an ant from one place to another!?" He screamed and pulled back his hood to reveal his blond hair and gold eyes.

"Edward Elric?!" Kaiba was startled. "How the hell did you get in THIS story!?"

"Because the author is paying me." Ed smirked. Kaiba glared up at the sky.

"And what gave you the right to put him in here?"

Because this is a fanfic and I'm writing it. Plus I like Ed and I wanted to make this even sillier then it already is, also he was in my You Tube Christmas special of 2007 with you and the others.

"Can we just get back to the story so I can learn my lesson?"

Sure.

Kaiba stared down at the boy. He name tag read; Ghost of Christmas Future and under that, Edward.

"Okay Kaiba, I'm here to show you next years Christmas. Here, hold this." Ed handed his scythe to Kaiba and clapped his hands together. They ended up in the city's cemetery. Edward literally dragged Kaiba over to a hill, the other was protesting because it seemed a little too _you're here because you'll be dead soon _kinda place.

They both looked up and Kaiba's eyes widened. At the top of the hill was Jou crying as he held a crutch to his heart and placed it on a small tombstone under a large leaf-less tree. Tiny Yugi… had died.

Damn.

"Well, come now, we have one last person to see." Edward smirked as he pushed Kaiba to a fresh grave, only a few yards away. Kaiba walked over to the grave and looked down, seeing a very deep hole with a black coffin at the bottom.

"Whose grave is this?" He asked pointing to the coffin. Edward pointed to the tombstone. "Read the fine carving man, it says 'Seto Kaiba.'" And it did in fact say that. 'You chocked on a peanut."

Kaiba blinked. "Well, who didn't see that one coming?" Edward smirked and pushed Kaiba in.

"Here's where ya learn your lesson!" Ed smiled and waved, he then vanished. Kaiba fell into the hole and opened his eyes to find that he had fallen out of bed. He looked at his clock that now said that it was seven in the morning. Christmas morning.

"Okay! Today I'm going to be nice and do a whole bunch of crap that will make people love me again!" Kaiba quickly changed into a gravity defying jacket and ran out of his house. Along the way, he gave Malik and Bakura about a hundred bucks and ran off after paying his IOU. Kaiba bought some stuff for some very special people, but when he left the shop he saw Mokuba and told he would be over for dinner that night. While heading toward his destination, he tripped a blond teen with gold eyes and a metal arm for kicks. Then he called him small and he laughed as the blond screamed at him and chased him down.

After that detour, Kaiba reached the house he was looking for, Jou's home. He knocked on the door, and he hid the smile he had on. Yami opened the door and did as he had promised so many times. He hit Kaiba with a metal spoon.

"Okay, I really deserved that one…" Kaiba rubbed the bump on his head.

"You bet your ass you deserved that Kaiba!" Yami swung the spoon in the CEO's face as he pouted. Jou walked up behind Yami and was surprised. "Holy shit! Kaiba, what are you doing here?!" He noticed the sack that Kaiba had as the taller barged his way in. Yugi came down the stairs and saw Kaiba place the bag on the ground and he slowly crept over. Yami smacked Kaiba with the spoon again. "Don't you think you can come in here like that Kaiba! I know who you are and what you did to my brother!"

Yep, Yami is Atemu's younger brother.

"Sorry about that Yami, I was clouded with greed. Which reminds me…" He got right up into Jou's face and scared the living crap out of him. "About your pay Jounouchi…" Jou nodded. "I'm giving you a raise, and I'm also making you my partner!" Kaiba smiled at the bewailed blond as he looked at his boss and thin grinned. He hugged the taller around the neck and was thanking him over and over until Kaiba pushed him off. "Don't go lavender on me Jou." Yugi looked up into Kaiba's eyes.

"Does this mean that I'll get better health care because of the extra money Mr. Ass hole?" Yugi asked and Kaiba blinked and turned to Jou who pointed to a proud looking Yami who was still holding the spoon. "That's what his 'mother' calls you sir. Sorry." Jou nervously grinned. Kaiba just smiled and turned back to Yugi. "Yeah, pretty much kid. Now why don't I give you guys something for dinner?" He opened the bag and handed a big ass turkey to a surprised Yami.

So everyone was happy and Kaiba lived better and avoided any form of peanuts. So Merry Christmas and Ra bless us everyone.

Happy Chanukah.


End file.
